And then the wheels fell off the bus… ”build some memories”, as mgmt would say… and we did… oh, how we did…

Bratislava is a mere stone’s throw from Vienna – a city we played a few years ago at a festival – and a city I visited when I was a teenager inter-railing – I had seen a lot of the East then – when it was very, very different… after Vienna’s extreme cold and beauty we braced ourselves for the East… great hospitality and occasional DIY tech situations… we arrived at the Atelier Babylon – a beautiful old theatre place – the load-in was down two flights of steep steps, with a giant astrological roof chart… gigs after days off are always a little hard to kinda get back into the groove but for some reason we were well up for the eastern leg to begin – on the one hand it means we are on our last stretch, on the other hand: the unknown, after so many gigs in familiar and fantastic places, is also strangely compelling… the dressing room was tiny as we all piled in, eagerly tucking into takeaway plastic punnets of stage food before the gig… the bus was parked in a wasteland out of town – a really eastern block kinda situation – an enormous abandoned factory and housing hi-rises ringing it… it was the eve of the celebration of the Velvet Revolution – and we were informed that 4 thousand students would be descending on the building for what can only be described as a “Revolution Rave” that evening… so we gigged hard, had a nice musical kinda jazzy vibe gig, showered, loaded 3 tonnes of flight cases up 2 flights of cinema stairs, into the van, to the wasteland, and into the trailer…..icy little snow flakes starting to fall with the temperature…..there was indeed an enormous rave happening in this building – so I blagged myself a wristband off another band who were playing there – and me, Mr T, Argy and Rob A Lish headed to the rave – after all – how many chances in life do you get to witness a Slovakian warehouse party on Revolution day… we were at first hastily rejected by a security force that resembled one of the levels on Call Of Duty – not being able to read Slovak, I had tried to wander in holding a glass of whiskey in one hand and a joint in the other – hey – we’re in a wasteland… anyway – after being kicked out before we’d even started, Argy somehow managed to blag us all in – and we witnessed student-a-geddon Slovakian style – unfortunately just as Argy and Mr T were being drawn to the dance floor we had to leave – the lasers shooting out of the building kinda glistening like falling glitter as the frozen snow fell – we were glad to be getting out actually – outside there were a few fights breaking out and it was getting hella cold and the warmth of our bunks was calling… it felt like we had been cold for ages… the bus was an ice cube… the heating wasn’t working… we slept in all of our clothes and jackets… freezing in a giant tin can…

Prague… well – the only beautiful sights of this ancient and magical city that we saw were on postcards – the Meetfactory is an old abattoir on the side of the railway… and when we awoke on the bus we thought we were at the venue… unfortunately not – we were at a Czech motorway services on what is, in the Czech republic, a bank holiday to rival Christmas… the joy of the fact that we could smoke indoors in the café was tempered hard by the fact that we were there, and not in  Prague – John The Driver had managed to limp the bus in here – the alternator had gone…. the bus was going nowhere, our kit was going nowhere, we were going nowhere… hasty “van” taxis were booked, and we managed to transfer all our stuff, and us, to the Meetfactory, hoping to see our bus again later… the Meetfactory is a really cool collective vibe – giant old industrial space – loads of rooms and corridors – a big cold space… really cool though – lovely coffee, soup, soundcheck and a stripped down visual show no problem… we were constantly checking for news… it turns out we had to taxi a new alternator from Austria (I wished I was that taxi driver – 2000 euros – now that is a good day!) – problem solved – fit the damn thing – let’s do the gig and get outta here – the following day’s drive to Warsaw was the biggest of the whole tour – an overnight drive of 1000 km – a ten hour “punch” as John The Driver would call it… so the Prague gig was great – great crowd – and there is something really cool about playing in Prague – it just sounds so kinda exotic (even if in reality it was an abandoned abattoir that Mystery TM thought had an overriding kinda eau-de-meat)… we came off stage, happy, did the merch, packed up and anxiously awaited news – the alternator had arrived, great, a few hours then… a few hours later and the locals were going home… turns out the alternator had the wrong screws… so the local mechanics at the Volvo garage had to literally drill through an aluminium block about 4 inches thick to fit it – just the drilling part would take 4 hours… damn… we were literally losing hours of driving – pushing the Warsaw gig right into the realms of line-check and straight onstage as opposed to our usual relaxed setup… but the decision was made – the bus would be ready at 8am the next morning – for sure – we would just make it to Warsaw in time to cobble something together quickly… so the Meetfactory, bless em, let us stay in the venue – they locked us in (the cleaner would be arriving at 6am) locked ALL the fridges (believe me – I checked!) and we each found somewhere to sleep… Guy immediately found the comfiest spot, in a heated room, on a couch, and shut the door… Rob found a couch, strategically in a spot in a room that served to actually amplify his snoring, the girls took the backstage, Argy, obviously, rigged up a hammock (apparently he never leaves home without one), me and Mr. T fashioned makeshift benches out of bar seats – we drank the last beers, and each just got into the warmest spot possible in an old warehouse with no heating on a very very cold night… and bedded in….

The next morning after a freezing night, the bus did not arrive – it would be another 6 hours minimum… we had to make a call – pull the gig in Warsaw, or get in  taxis NOW… the 3 of us and Rob A Lish gathered up a few guitars, some basics, an envelope full of merch cash, and headed for the aiport… it was the only way – we had never played Warsaw and we were dammed if an alternator was gonna cancel this gig – and the opportunity to show up at an airport with a bundle of cash and get on a plane was kinda cool – LOT Airlines sorted us out… at least we would get there and be able to do like an old school gig with a guitar each – local promoters scrambled to hire the bits and pieces (drums, amps, etc) – we posted the situation on Facebook in Polish to prepare the fans for no 59 lighting/visual rig… Rachel showed up at the airport about an hour before the flight – she wasn’t gonna miss this “adventure” – bought her flight and we were off… no proper sleep for two nights – slept in all of our clothes for the 6 hours sleep we had had in two days… but we were gonna make it, just… our kit, our rig, our lights, and our crew were not… we crossed our fingers that they would be able to make it to Warsaw eventually and prepared ourselves for the fact that maybe the next time we saw everyone and all of our gear, it would be in Poznan – if we were lucky… worst case, bus swap, van swap…

The gig in Warsaw was awesome… despite the fatigue, to do a stripped down show was great actually – really old school – just like the old days – us three and Rob with just carry on – stage set up took 5 minutes, stage pack down took like 5 minutes… no loom boxes, no lamposaurus… it was fun… we had a blast – and the Warsaw audience was just fantastic… kinda subscribing to the fact that this gig on the tour was totally unique… we leaned heavily on the old tracks… but all in all it was great – when the news came through that the bus was on its way (after a 2 hour delay while the garage literally held the bus and all occupants hostage until they got confirmation they had been paid – in a way – fair – 4 mechanics had worked for 24 hours nearly non-stop on the bus during the public holiday – God knows what that must have cost!)… and would arrive around 1am… so – even though all I saw of beautiful beautiful Prague was on the postcards at the airport, the biggest shame was that the venue in Warsaw was EPIC – beautiful old cinema style… just perfect for our full show… I guess that’s the way it is sometimes – the longest journey and the most perfect venue with no bus, crew or kit… when the bus pulled up we were re-united – those on the bus had been on it for 11 hours straight, those who had done the gig were dreaming of bed – kinda delirious from overtiredness (I was doing promo right up until stage time, and then right after until about 1am)… it was great to be back with everyone – as we drove out of Warsaw heading for Poznan I sat in the cab with the double driver Andy (who was from Liverpool but Guy had thought he was from the Czech Republic when he met him in the club because of his accent – saying – “sorry mate – I’m English” – Andy saying – “yeah I know – I’m from Liverpool”) having a beer and a ciggie and chilling – so so SO happy to have the bus back… mgmt had kept a lid on all of our tired angriness with txt love… as he said… “buses break down, problems get solved, and, erm, ‘build some memories’…”

F

PS – big props go out to Crossland.ie and Rockstar Logistics who along with Mystery TM, mgmt and our agent, it has to be said, did an incredible job of sorting it out under extreme conditions… imagine getting your car repaired on Christmas day remotely while you were in Poland… that’s basically what they did in reverse…